


More than initially planned

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Arospec Raphael Santiago, Awkwardness, First Crush, M/M, Misunderstandings, Shy Simon Lewis, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-07 21:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: “So, did you talk to him today?” Magnus poked the unidentifiable mass ofsomethingon his plate before grimacing and pushing it away, reaching for the bowl that was supposed to contain salad but didn’t really look all too healthy. It was still better than the stew or whatever the other stuff was supposed to be. Hopefully, the new petition to get better food in the school’s canteen would lead to actual results this year because the food seemed to get worse with every school year.“Kind of,” Raphael replied absently while trying a very small bite of the weird, greyish food—he had been raised to never waste any food so he at least wanted to try this stuff but he almost gagged at the taste and quickly dropped his spoon.“What does that even mean?”“That Ikind oftalked to him, obviously.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, this is kind of similar to _[Must be an alternate dimension](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12101442/chapters/274353512)_ but I didn't quite manage to fit Raphael's side of the story in there the way I wanted to so...I wrote this story that goes in the same direction. I don't even know. I'm just glad that lately I got around to writing something again and you'll have to live with the topic repeating itself!

“—and then I stumbled and spilt my milkshake all over the guy’s lap,” Simon told Clary the story of his newest mishap during the weekend.

“Do you ever stop talking?” A voice sounded from behind him and when Simon whirled around he kind of forgot to take his arm down first—it was still raised from gesturing wildly to underline his story—and ended up smacking it right against an unfairly toned chest.

His eyes widened and Simon felt his cheeks flush instantly when he noticed  _whose_ chest his hand had just connected with.

“R—Raphael. H—hey,” he greeted the other boy nervously, squinting a little before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He was pretty sure the smile on his lips was pretty crooked and Simon berated himself inwardly for being completely unable to play things cool in front of his crush.

“You should really learn to lower your voice, Lewis, I could hear your screeching all the way down the hall,” Raphael pointed out dryly and his face showed a thoroughly bored expression that made Simon wonder why the other boy even bothered talking to him at all. Not that he was complaining about it because the few times Raphael voiced his annoyance about everything Simon did, he could at least get to hear the other’s smooth voice and see his pretty face from close by.

Raphael always did this, sometimes a few times a week—he walked past, commented on whatever Simon was currently doing but by now Simon was damn sure that it couldn’t be considered bullying, it was more an odd kind of teasing and he found himself enjoying the few awkward interactions.

The other boy wasn’t like the other guy’s in Simon’s courses, the ones who bumped into him roughly “by accident”, threw his things in the trash or stole his glasses. He never made physical contact and his words were never actually mean. Simon had no idea what any of this meant but he was certain that Raphael was not at all like the bullies he had to deal with on an almost daily basis.

“And you should stop bullying Simon!” Clary stepped forward and tried to look down on Raphael which didn’t work out because he might be a tad shorter than Simon but Clary was a lot shorter and had to look up at both of them. That didn’t stop her from putting her hands on her hips and glaring at Raphael.

“You’re as scary as a Chihuahua, Fray,” Raphael said and his voice seemed to drop a little, sounding cold and actually annoyed now. His expressive eyebrows drew together and his glare was a lot more intimidating than Clary’s, Simon thought.

“You’re an asshole,” Clary shot back and stepped forward.

Before Simon could stop her, she had already raised her hands and pressed them against Raphael’s shoulders, pushing him back to physically tell him to back off. Simon almost missed the way the other boy grit his teeth at the touch but the expression was gone as quickly as it had appeared and he only huffed before turning around and striding down the hallway, probably to get to his next class.

“Clary, was that really necessary?” Simon asked, his eyes still glued to Raphael’s back until the other boy had rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

“Of course it was! He was being a dick to you, _again_. Just because you have a crush on him—I really don’t get why—doesn’t mean you should be okay with him treating you like this.”

“He’s just teasing me, Clary, it’s nothing bad. And I don’t just say that because of my crush. He never did or said anything hurtful and I don’t mind it. I don’t get why he does it but I’m glad he talks to me at all,” he replied with a helpless little shrug and Clary, as usual, only huffed in annoyance before playfully punching his shoulder and then dragging him off to their next class.

 

* * *

 

“So, did you talk to him today?” Magnus poked the unidentifiable mass of  _something_ on his plate before grimacing and pushing it away, reaching for the bowl that was supposed to contain salad but didn’t really look all too healthy. It was still better than the stew or whatever the other stuff was supposed to be. Hopefully, the new petition to get better food in the school’s canteen would lead to actual results this year because the food seemed to get worse with every school year.

“Kind of,” Raphael replied absently while trying a very small bite of the weird, greyish food—he had been raised to never waste any food so he at least wanted to try this stuff but he almost gagged at the taste and quickly dropped his spoon.

“What does that even mean?”

“That I _kind of_ talked to him, obviously.” He frowned at his best friend and glared a little harder when he noticed the amused smirk tugging at the corners of Magnus’s mouth.

“Oh, I get it. You just made some dumb comment again before walking off, once again making the impression that you’re like all the other douchebags in school.”

Raphael barely resisted the urge to kick the other’s shin under the table or flick some of the terrible food at Magnus’s face. Sadly, he really wasn’t mean like that and therefore only grit his teeth and absently rubbed his fingers against his left shoulder where the bruise his father had left him with the other day was still throbbing because of that stupid redhead.

“Hey, don’t make such a face, darling.” Magnus’s tone change in the blink of an eye, dropping to a much softer one and his long fingers curled around Raphael’s hand, tugging it away from his shoulder.

Raphael felt the material of Magnus’s rings press against his own fingers but he didn’t pull away from the contact but actually squeezed the other’s hand in return.

“Ahw, you two are too cute together,” Lily drawled before dropping onto the bench on the opposite side of the table with Stan, Ragnor and Catarina following soon after. “Are we interrupting yet another love-advice-session?”

“I’m not—” Raphael tried to complain but Ragnor interrupted him, putting on his best posh voice.

“You are, my dear friend, stop denying what your heart desires.”

Raphael rolled his eyes and freed his hand from Magnus’s grasp; instead, reaching for his water bottle to take a sip. He didn’t actually mind that his friends had long since noticed his stupid little crush on one of the school’s biggest nerds but he was pretty fed up with the whole situation.

The problem was mostly himself, though. Because every time he wanted to talk to Simon, he ended up saying something stupid and sounding like an asshole. Magnus had already teased him by saying that he was acting like a child that pulled at a girl’s pigtail because he liked her. The thing was, he couldn’t even argue with that stupid logic because it was basically how he was acting.

Raphael tried to tell himself that he was only so terrible and awkward about it because this was the first time he ever had a crush on anyone. He had never looked at anyone twice, especially not out of interest. And even this was different from the things Magnus had told him about the way he felt when he had once again fallen for some terrible person—he didn’t have the urge to want to be physically close to Simon, to kiss and touch him or anything like that.

Sure, he wasn’t disgusted by the thought of maybe kissing the other boy despite generally finding the prospect of pressing his mouth against someone else’s as rather off-putting but not when it came to Simon. Mostly, Raphael just wanted to get to know the other boy, become his friend and maybe a little bit more than that. A friend who wouldn’t mind holding his hand and hugging him—not in the way Magnus did, Raphael was fine with his best friend being touchy-feely but he didn’t crave it, rarely sought it himself. He simply wanted to be around Simon.

“It’s so incredibly adorable seeing you this messed up about a boy. Mr _I don’t think I’m capable of loving someone romantically_ ,” Magnus said, his voice fondly teasing, and nudged his shoulder against Raphael’s. “And I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you would just talk to him normally. I mean, I’ve never heard him not stumbling over his words so what are you afraid of?”

“Uh, I dunno...being rejected, maybe?” Raphael offered with an eye roll because wasn’t this the obvious problem in such a situation. He didn’t feel like offering his heart to someone and have it handed back to him in the next moment. Simon seemed like someone who would make an effort to at least let him down gently but these familiar feelings were already scary enough without putting them out there.

“You could write him a love letter,” Catarina suggested as if it was the simplest, most obvious thing to do. “Or maybe a poem.”

“Right, because I’m sure I can up with a halfway decent poem.” Raphael rolled his eyes and as much as he loved his friends, they were kind of crap at giving useful advice in love matters.

“ _Your hair is winter fire. January embers. My heart burns there too._ See, it’s not that hard,” Magnus said after a brief pause and now it was Ragnor’s turn to glare at him.

“Did you just really steal from a Stephen King novel?”

“Oh, that’s where it’s from? I totally forgot where I read this,” Magnus replied cheerfully, not in the least bit bothered that Ragnor was clearly judging him right now.

“It doesn’t seem very fitting, anyway. It would be fitting to address the terrible Fray girl,” Raphael commented and he definitely didn’t want to continue this thought any further. Just no. He already disliked the girl more than enough and it wasn’t simply because she was Simon’s best friend and allowed to always be around the boy, probably knowing him best. He wasn’t that petty! But he did dislike her for, in his opinion, being an unlikeable person.

“The poem idea was dumb but maybe you should write him a short letter to ask him out,” Lily finally offered to the conversation and shrugged. She wasn’t one of the girls who were into this kind of stuff, cheesy love letters or flowers, but Raphael appreciated the attempt to help anyway.

“I’ll think about it,” he sighed, mostly to get everyone off his back for another day but he knew he should finally consider how to deal with his feelings. Raphael should either try to get over them or something about it, instead of emotionally being all over the place. It was exhausting and frustrating as hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know...

_ I like you more than initially planned. _

Simon stared at the piece of paper in his hand with a small frown, not quite knowing what to do with this message that had been slipped into his locker. It was handwritten but not signed with a name and he wondered who might have put it there—surely this had to be some kind of joke, right?

He shook his head and stuffed the paper into his pocket before collecting the books he needed for the next class. Simon considered throwing the message away but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do so because even if it was only a joke, it was still kind of a nice thing to say.

 

* * *

 

_ Your smile is as contagious as the flu, but with less vomiting. _

Simon almost choked on the drink he was currently sipping on and he stared at the strip of paper he had just unfolded in his hand. It was only one day after the first piece of paper had appeared in his locker and he had been surprised to find another one. This one a little more ridiculous than the last and he couldn’t help but like this odd, playful way to pay a compliment.

He couldn’t help but hope that maybe there would be another message like this waiting for him the next day. The handwriting was definitely the same as before, so much Simon was able to tell.

 

* * *

 

_ You’re awkward, but in a cute way.  Like an elevator ride, but with puppies. _

“Is this supposed to make any sense?” Simon muttered to himself and when Clary shot him a questioning glance, he only shook his head and quickly put the piece of paper away. He hadn’t told his best friend about these messages because it somehow felt like they were only for him and telling someone about it would ruin part of the charm.

Simon had actually taken an old metal pencil case at home to store the paper strips with the messages in and in the mornings he actually started to look forward to school in hopes of getting another one of these messages.

 

* * *

 

_ You’re that “nothing” when people ask me what I’m thinking about. _

_ I just want to be upfront and say that I visually enjoy you. _

_ If you knew how many times I thought about you, I would be thoroughly embarrassed. _

_ I really want to tell you how much I like you, but then you’d know. _

_ Penguins are such inefficient walkers. It’s so cute. But not cuter than you. _

_ You give me feelings that I’m not really sure what to do with, but I sort of like it. _

Simon looked through his collection of odd compliments and some of them were less joking and a little more real than others, making him wonder if it wasn’t a joke after all. Maybe there was actually someone out there who carried such feelings for him? He really couldn’t imagine that to be true but the thought still warmed his heart, just like every one of these messages made it beat a tad faster.

Simon was really curious to know who left him these messages but maybe it was also better not to know. He had already tried to at least figure out if the person was a girl or a boy but he wasn’t too sure about it. The handwriting was elegantly curved and too neat for a boy but it also didn’t quite seem like it belonged to a girl either.

 

* * *

 

“ _ Your smile is proof that the best things in life are free _ . Oh my god, this is so fucking gay!”

Simon tried to snatch the piece of paper from one of the bullies who had suddenly shown up and taken it from him. His cheeks felt hot but not out of embarrassment, out of anger. These messages were his and his alone, nobody else was allowed to see them and he hated this guy for looking down on such an incredibly sweet gesture.

“Then give it back. We don’t want you accidentally catching the gay, do we?” Simon heard himself reply and he was pretty sure that his face mirrored the other guy’s look of surprise at that. He had never talked back like this ever before, without his voice sounding weak and stumbling over the words.

“Oh, you talk back to us now? How courageous of you. All just because of some stupid little love letter that probably means absolutely nothing,” the bully laughed, tearing the strip of paper in half and throwing in on the ground.

Simon pressed his lips together and he could feel his body shake slightly, not like usually out of fear of what these guys might do but he felt hatred for these assholes course through his body. He hated people who looked down at other just because they were different, who used the term “gay” as if it was an insult and who enjoyed bullying others for the fun of it.

Just when one of the guys stepped closer and to Simon, crowding him against the lockers and wanting to reach out, he was suddenly yanked back with enough force that he stumbled a few steps backwards.

“You should really grow up already and stop harassing other people,” Raphael’s smooth voice commented and Simon’s eyes widened when he realised that he had been the one to save him from maybe getting punched in the face. His heart skipped a beat and hammered against his ribs for a whole different reason than seconds earlier.

“Of course, the best friend of the school’s biggest fags comes to this little nerd’s rescue, how heroic,” the bully replied, though he did seem a slight bit thrown off by Raphael’s appearance—especially now that Raphael’s lips tugged into the hint of a smirk.

“Oh boy, you should not have said that.” With that, Raphael made a small step aside, just in time for someone a lot taller to show up on the scene and pin this douchebag against the lockers with a rattling sound that made Simon wince because that definitely must have hurt.

Simon watched with wide eyes how none-other than Alexander Lightwood, one of the stars of the football team, easily pinned the bully against the lockers with a dark expression on his face. He couldn’t hear what he was saying to the guy but the bully became visibly paler by every word hissed at him and Simon almost felt sorry for him.  _ Almost _ .

 

* * *

 

Raphael stepped towards Simon while Magnus showed up as well, talking to Alexander in an attempt to keep him from punching that bully in the face—it would be well-deserved, sure, but Alec didn’t have to get himself in trouble because of such an asshole.

“Are you okay? Did the guy hurt you?” Usually, Raphael didn’t quite manage to convey his emotions when he talked to Simon, his nerves always taking the better of him and making him sound bored or distant, but right now the worry in his voice was pretty clear.

“I’m...I’m fine. Thank you,” Simon replied, wide-eyed and a little breathless sounding. He stared at Raphael with something akin to wonder as if he was trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. “You helped me.”

“Seems like I did,” Raphael agreed and felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

His brows furrowed a little when Simon averted his gaze and his eyes started searching the floor before the other boy made a few steps to pick something up from the ground. It was a small piece of paper that seemed to have been ripped in half and a moment later Raphael spotted what had to be the other half of it.

He heard Simon making a small noise in the back of his throat when Raphael went to pick the piece of paper up and his eyes widened a little when he realised what it was he was holding in his hands. He could read the  _ Your smile is proof  _ from the message he had slipped into Simon’s locker this morning.

“Uh, that—that’s just—” Simon quickly snatched the piece of paper from Raphael’s hand who almost got distracted by the feeling of their fingers brushing together in the process. He blinked in confusion and looked at the other boy whose cheeks had changed to a soft pink tone.

“It’s nothing,” Simon added in a mutter, casting his eyes down and quickly shoving both pieces of the message into the pocket of his hoodie.

“Seems to be an important  _ nothing _ then,” Raphael heard himself reply and, great, now he was back to the accidental teasing instead of taking this chance to admit that he was the one writing these messages.

“Yeah, well...Thank you again for helping me out,” was Simon’s only reply and he was clearly avoiding Raphael’s gaze now who felt like he was completely ruining the whole thing by being unable to just be honest about his feelings. He had absolutely no idea how to communicate to the other boy that it wasn’t his intention to make fun of him, which resulted in him stupidly holding up the folder with school stuff he had been carrying under his arm.

Simon glanced at said folder, confusion clear on his face when his eyes traced the neat writing on the folder that told him which subject the content was for. Raphael could see the moment it clicked, after Simon’s eyes had traced the letters several more times and his eyes widened in shocked realisation, his mouth forming a soft “Oh”.

“Yeah,” Raphael replied dumbly, an awkward grin on his face and shrugging helplessly. “I’m glad I could help out.”

He wasn’t even sure if he was still talking about these stupid bullies or about his little messages maybe having made a difference for the other boy, that maybe they had managed to cheer Simon up. Before the other boy had the chance to collect his thoughts and say anything about this new realisation, Raphael had already turned around and left, despite Magnus trying to stop him.

 

* * *

 

_ I can’t get you out of my head. Which is now becoming a problem because sometimes I have other things I need to be thinking about. Like what my name would be if I were a dragon. _

Raphael stared at the piece of paper in his hand that had fallen out of his locker as soon as he opened it and it only took a brief moment before surprised laughter bubbled up in his chest. He had spent the whole weekend freaking out since the incident on Friday since he let Simon figure out that he had been the one to send those messages.

Part of him had been so sure that he had made a fool of himself and there was no chance this would get anywhere but now, staring at this sloppily written message on a crumpled piece of paper, the part of him that had wanted to believe in Magnus’s endless hope for happy ends made a little victory dance.

When Raphael looked up and glanced down the hallway, his eyes quickly found soft brown eyes behind a pair of nerdy glasses, rosy cheeks and a smile that was more blinding than the sun this morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the messages are stuff I found on Pinterest and not my own!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Raphael is a tiny bit useless when it comes to love-related stuff. Poor fella.


End file.
